Really down to the wire and SOOO MUCH not done or decided

Ok so we are less than 4 weeks left. Only 3 full weekends left to get things done. So much to do!!! But I am just excited about it all. Whatever happens happens and I trust that the LORD has an amazing day planned for us:)

So I had my first hair and make-up consult today with Gina:) I love her and it is such a blessing she is doing this for me. We didn't do any trials, just got ideas and such so we can do some trials. I am really excited about this:) Our biggest subject however was "The DRESS" how to get the stains out. I have talked to people that are seamstresses and such and they say DON'T WASH IT!!! So now we are trying to figure out how to spot treat it without ruining the fabric. Yikes we have a few things to try so please pray it goes well. If not we have a back up plan of maybe adding pick-ups but this would be a lot of work and not sure if dress would be long enough if we did that so we would rather not if possible. I will keep you informed!!
We had a crazy night last night somewhat wedding related. We went the 3 hours over to meet the pastor who is marrying us for a premarital counseling session. He was great and we are excited he will be marrying us. But on our way home we were getting back late and we came around the corner to see a truck in the ditch that had rolled for a long ways. Mind you we do live in the middle of nowhere so we could tell no one had come along. I called 911 and my fiance got out to check in the truck and such and no one, but the truck reaked of alchol from 10 feet away. So we immediatley started searching the ditches and such as best we could in the dark for someone in case they had been thrown from the vehicle. We just couldn't see with no light, so we decided to head back to the ranch which is like 8 miles get flashlights and rush back but on our way we found the guy 1 1/2 miles down the road. He was very disorriented and very drunk of course. We called 911 again to report him and got a friend called for him and had to wait about an hour for police and ambulance to get there(told you far out) He is lucky to be alive but I really hope he remembers how stupid drinking and driving is and that he could have killed someone!!!! NO TOLLERANCE for drinking and driving in my book!!!! But we were just glad that we found him and that we were able to get him the help he needed. Who knows what would have happened if not.
Now back to our regularly scheduled wedding:)

Prayers are being answered and dreams are coming true!!

So through this all it has been a very growing experience with me in the LORD. We were both so sad and frustrated we weren't going to be able to have the wedding "we" wanted. But I think letting go and letting GOD is creating even more than we can imagine:) We have been soooo beyond blessed and continue to be blessed daily with answers to our prayers.

We really just started praying..LORD we don't have anyway to make this day happen and we don't have the money to make it special like we would want, so we just pray you would bless our day and make it special. Oh and boy has he:)

There were a few things as a bride that just really were important to me even though it was going to be small.
* A special place to remember to have the wedding
*Great people to share the day with us
*A beautifull dress
*Eric a perfect outfit
*Photographer to do awesome pictures we can remember forever
*To look beautiful with nice hair and make-up
*Cake-for our special cake topper we got a long time ago:)
*And of course all the little misc.(toasting glasses, bouquets, etc.)

I know it isn't required to have all that to be married and that is not what makes a marriage, but it does make a nice wedding. We are going to do what we can with what we got. We even grew our own pumpkins and indian corn and such for the occasion:)

So as I looked at the list of what I wanted it was so easy to become discouraged knowing we had NO money and that we couldn't make it happen. So the praying began and through the LORD and a lot of amazing people and others praying and supporting(thank you bee girls:)) This has been answered so far:)
*We have the most awesome place and all we have to pay for is food and the night there
*We have a band that is donating time
*An awesome professional photographer that is donating his time:)
*A friend that is a professional doing my hair and make-up:)
*I am doing a cupcake cake for our cake and excited to be doing it:)

So as you can see one after another the prayers are being answered. These are our continued prayers that would make it perfect:
*Eric an outfit he loves(wranglers, nice shirt, jacket, chocolate cowboy hat, boots)
*Me a dress that I feel great in(either the stains to come out of the one I have or even better would be a pickup style ballgown:))
*Enough money to invite a few more of our community friends here and our pastors from our church who through this have really become great great friends:)
*and just a few of the little things:toasting glasses,bouquet,a few more little decorations(I am cheap and love 50% off sales so wouldn't take much:))

So as you can see the LORD is faithfull and we are really excited to see what the day brings:) It is already turning out way better than I could have ever imagined:) Thank you to everyone that has prayed for us and supported us and just been there to help encourage me when I was down. My health has been the biggest test lately and I am just praying on and trusting the LORD will help there to:)

"You find out who your friends are"

I think planning a wedding really makes you find out who your friends truly are. I had come to feel prity lonely. Not one of my friends or family from Oregon is coming and most of our friends from a couple of hours away aren't either. Most don't even ask about it. This was very hard for me for a long time and still is hurtfull, but I have come to find a lot of friends in surpriseing places. I have met some amazing woman on Weddingbee.com. It is nice to know you are not alone and to have someone there to be excited for you:) I have met some prity extrodinary woman on that site and become good friends with a few. Y'all know who you are;) Thanks for all your love and support.
It is just so strange to find that complete strangers(atleast when we first started talking) care more about your life and wedding that your own friends and family. It has touched my hear immensly all the love and support that have been shown. I soooooooooooo appreciate it and it has made it a happier time for me for sure:)
I only wish I could have y'all at the wedding and such. y'all would make awesome bridesmaids:) THANK YOU for helping me when things have been tough!!!

30 Days To GO!!!!!!!!!! YIKES SO MUCH TO DO!!!

Can't believe it is 30 days till my wedding day:) SO excited yet so nervous to about getting everything done. I know whatever happens happens, but still you want the day to be fun and turn out nice:)

I have the following list of things that are taken care of:
The place we are getting married at
The room for the night
The rings(even though mine won't fit right now)
The food
The minister
The Photographer-Thanks for their donation and kindness:)
THE GROOM:) Hee Hee!!!

Things that still need done:
Clean the stained dress I have
Find something for the groom to wear
Bouquet
Cake
Decorations-going simple and cheap
Ceremony words and such
unity candles
Veil
hair decorations
makeup
don't have any idea how I am going to do my hair
serving set
toasting glasses
sure there is more I am forgetting

so much to do!!! I will just do the best I can as things come. Have to prioritize and do with what we got:) Don't know how it is all going to get done and afford it all, but we TRUST THE LORD and know that it will all be fine in the end.:)

Just gonna keep on truckin.......

Just sitting around sad and upset isn't going to make this wedding happen any faster. I am going to try and clean the dress myself and see what happens. I hope it doesn't ruin it or the beading on it. We will see, if it does then I will just wear jeans and a nice shirt. I don't have any other choices and I just need to be happy with what I got and that is the MOST AMAZING FIANCE EVER!!!!! 30 Days to go. Can't believe it is coming so fast:) Can't wait to say I do:)

I will keep y'all posted on how the cleaning works out and hopefully it doesn't shrink the dress any:) Thanks to all the bees over there at Weddingbee for the suggestions on getting it clean myself.

Very hurt and upset by something someone assumes of me

I earlier posted about how I loved weddingbee.com and how great all the bee's are and I do love all the bees and it is a great place for ideas, forums, and such. But then I get this email from Mr.Bee the leader and I was very hurt and offended. Because this is not me and it REALLY hurts me that he would assume this about me.

Weddingbee Boards » Private Messages » Hello from Mr. Bee
mrbee
Key Master -->
I wanted to reach out and share a concern.
Sometimes it feels like your posts are soliciting for donations. You never quite ask for money, but you describe your situation and I feel like the end result is an indirect solicitation.
It makes me very uncomfortable... I will talk to Bee about it, but I wanted to share my concern with you and hear your thoughts.
Best,
Mr. Bee
Sent: 08/26/09 at 01:54:01 AM To ACountryCowgirl
Reply
Your message will be sent to mrbee

I am very hurt and sad about this. I see a lot of people post about things that aren't going right, or how hard it is in this day and age to make it. I have never asked for money and would never and have had people offer money and would not accept it. But even so if someone wants to help someone else what is wrong with that. If I had more means I would help someone if I could. It was just nice to be able to post frustrations and have others give you input and ideas and usually just a sorry your going through this to help brighten my day. It was nice to hear from those who were going through the same things and we could help each other through these things.
I am a good person and it REALLY REALLY bothers me when people think bad of me, even people that don't know me. I told Mr. Bee I wouldn't post anymore personal things on the bee, but it makes me sad to know that I can't get input from a lot of people who were truly helpfull when I needed it.

Gotta thank the LORD for Bees.....(weddingbee.com)

I just am so thankfull for the weddingbee.com site, it has really been helpfull to me during all this. With no friends and family that are helping it has amazed me how many total strangers have become such good friends to me:) How they have helped to encourage me when I am down and to celebrate when things are good. It has been a GOD sent:)
Thank you to all you bees who have offered such kindness and support, you will never know how much it has ment to me. To have people who care and understand and want to be there for you. I only wish they could have come and been my beesmaids:) That would have been perfect:)

A few steps backwards.....

So today was a few steps backwards......Just so frustrating, but trying to not let it get me down. But it is hard when it is such big things for our special day.

I woke up this morning so excited. Today I was going to drive the 30 miles to the post office to pickup my wedding dress and my newly saudered wedding ring:) I couldn't wait.

I couldn't even wait to get home to open the boxes. I opened the dress first and could see the top it was gorgeous and I was so excited. Then the ring box, it is absolutely stunning. So you ask why backwards well....

I try the ring on and it won't fit, I can't get it but to my knuckle. But I have been having a lot of swelling lately with all my thyroid trouble and feeling so terrible so I hope that is all it is. Then came the getting the dress home and so excited. I pull it out and hang it up and unzip the bag and wahla.... yellow stains all over the dress. Looks like someone spilled stuff all over it:( The tears just started right then. I know I took a chance on it for $60.00 and I knew it would have stains on the underneath of the hem, but I didn't expect all over the dress and the small tear at the back and I still don't know if it is going to fit. Oh LORD please help me.

Now here is the bigger problem, I feel terrible because we spent $60 we really didn't have anyways and now it needs cleaned, which we cannot afford and not only that but the closest dry cleaner is 2 1/2 hours away. I just don't know how I am going to do it:( I just wish the perfect dress would come along, even just to borrow. I just want more than anything to look and feel beautifull on my wedding day standing in front of the man I love more than anything in the world!!!!!

Like I said I am trying to stay positive, but it is hard to not be sad and frustrated.

Another Prayer answered:) I GOT A DRESS!!!!!!

YES you heard correctly, I got a real wedding dress:) I am soooooo beyond ecstatic:) I will post pictures of what it will look like. It is nothing like I pictured but it is beautifull and I hope it looks good on:) I bought it off of craigslist from a very very wonderfull woman who gave me an amazing deal on it. It is a Mori Lee 2105 dress. It is normally sold between $700-$900 that I seen and I got it for $60 and she is shipping it to me:) THANK YOU LORD!!!!!!

Everything is starting to fall into place and I am just soooo very excited. Now if only I could drop some weight before the wedding:) We are working on that to. Got a doctor appointment September 4th to get Thyroid all fixed back up again. Hopefully the cancer did not spread.

There is still so much to do for the wedding, but we are just trying to do the best we can with what we got and it is tough when we have no money, but we are trusting the LORD to make it a very special day:)

Here is the pictures of what the dress will look like:)

Our unique wedding venue

So sunday we had to go to Walmart and for us that is a big deal since the closest one is 2 1/2 hours, yes I said 2 1/2 hours, we live in the middle of nowhere on a cattle ranch so going to town is a big deal:) While we were in town at walmar we decided to take a trip out to the place we are getting married as it was only about 1/2 hour farther.
We pulled up and I was in love. It is perfect:) It is soooooo rustic and cute and all the old fashioned buildings are going to be perfect for our wedding photos:) It is just the neatest place and only 8 miles from toadstool geolagical park. It is going to be perfect. I will put on a few pictures:)

(Toadstool geological park above)
Seeing it really lifted my spirits and made me feel really excited about our wedding:)

The above picture is the cookshack and the covered area to the left with all the tables is where the ceremony will be held. We will move all the tables into the grass and just set up the benches where the wedding will take place.

The next few pictures are just some of the buildings we have to hangout in and take pictures:) Such ambiance:)

The school house is where we would get married if it rained. But we are praying for no rain and a beautifull day:)
This is the cowboy room and this is going to be our honeymoon suite for our wedding night:)

So as you can see I am VERY EXCITED about the place:) Things are starting to fall into place. Thank you to the LORD most of all, but also to all who have helped us out:)

If I did get to have my wedding and my way :)

I thought it would be fun just to post some fo the ideas I have for when we do get married in a real wedding. I want it to be country style. I would love a barn. I want it to be semi casual and fun for our guests. I want it to be in teh fall probably october and I will still have the same wedding colors; chocolate and copper:) These will be just random photos but I love ideas:)

Just love the atmosphere a barn gives. I am after all a country cowgirl, so I want to mix country and a little western:) Definetly dancing and since my fiance is a singer we will have the oh so fun Karaokee:)

Just love this country couch idea:) SOOOO Cute:)

Love this picture of the bride, so going to do that:)

I have so many thoughts and ideas and way to adapt these things to join together and use the colors I want. Can't wait till we can have the wedding of our dreams:) Will post more ideas for sure...Still to come: more decor, favors,cakes and of course dresses:)

Overwhelmed!

I just have so much on my mind this week: the death of my cousin, my health, money, bills and 43 days till wedding. SOOO Overwhelmed!!!

Nothing new on the wedding front. Still just us the place and that is about it. I know technically that is all you need and I am SOOOOO EXCITED to marry my fiance, he is the greatest guy in the world and I am extremely lucky to have him. It will be awesome to finally call him my husband.

But we both can't help but be sad that our wedding has really not turned out at all. :(

You know what I am going to quit gripeing right now. I am just lucky to have such a man to share my life with

Yeah my first follower:) Thanks MS. A

I really like this new blog site, so much easier to use and fun to have followers:)

Trustin the LORD to make it happen :) 8-12-09

So it is only 44 days until the wedding, but you really need to have everything done sooner so I really only have about 2 weeks to get everything done and going. I have nothing done. All we have is the place, photographer(who donated their services-thank you lord:)) and each other. I know that is all it takes for the wedding, but I would really like to have it be a little more. I would like us to atleast look amazing and “bridal” in our pictures. But with no money and in serious serious need of seeing a doctor, there won’t be any money either, so I really don’t know what we are going to do:( I am just praying and believing the LORD will work everything out:)I would love to have an actual beautifull wedding dress, and eric a nice wedding outfit. I want to make my own simple bouquet and then a cake. But all that ads up to be prity expensive even when you go cheap!!!I just want our day to be sooooooooooo special and with not knowing what all is going on with my health I don’t want to live on the we can do it later thought because I can’t count on there always being a later. So LORD PLEASE JUST BLESS OUR DAY:)

Treasure the time you got!!! 8-11-09

It is days like this that remind me I need to quit worrying about all the junk and the unimportant details. It isn’t the wedding day that matters it is the marriage. I still would love to have a nice wedding, but in the big picture you have to treasure every minute because you may not have another and it can happen in a matter of seconds.Today my 24 year old cousin lost her husband. He went missing on a kayaking trip yesterday and they found him today trapped under water in a log jam. She is alone now and without that other half, I can’t even beggin to imagine:( It just makes you realize to treasure every minute. To appreciate even the little things and not to complain about the stupid things. My heart and prayers are with her right now as she is so lost I am sure.LORD I don’t understand this, but I will trust in you that you will comfort everyone and especially my cousin and that you will turn this tragedy into a blessing somehow.It is like the garth brooks song” there are two dates that will be wrote on the stone, but the only things that matters are what happen in that little dash there inbetween.”

trying to stay positive 8-5-09

I know this blog is prity depressing, but I am REALLY trying to stay positive. But I am only 51 days out from my wedding and it doesn’t even feel like I am getting married:( Others are scrambling to get final dress fittings, rsvps returned, vendor things finalized, etc. Me I just live my wedding life through weddingbee. I have nothing to do since we are realyy doing nothing:( With my health getting worse and no money to even see a doctor we have NO MONEY to put towards anything. I know this shouldn’t matter and I know I am lucky to have my fiance and to finally be getting to say I do, but we have waited all this time to have the special day and again nothing and all because of me being sick. Atleast I know he is in ti for better or worse and in sickness and in health, I just wish I didn’t bring more of the sickness and worse.He feels terrible for not being able to give me that day. And to have those special things for us. I tell him it is ok and we can’t have everything in life we want and he said “that is one day you should have your way” Making me cry right now even saying it:( He is sooooo great and I am sooo lucky just hard not to be sad for missing all the memories with your friends. I see all the stuff on weddingbee for peoples parties and such and I want that, I know that sounds like a spoiled child, but it is something I always looked forward to. But don’t have.I don’t even have a wedding dress to wear and yes you can get something cheap, but we can’t even afford cheap and I don’t want just something to throw on I want it to be something I love. I even had a very sweet few people offer their dresses but they have all been to small and the one that may possibly fit I am not sure I am going to have enough for shipping so we will see.SEE DEPRESSING, but I try and just remind myself that I am just lucky to have my fiance and that maybe someday we can have a real wedding. I do LOTS AND LOTS OF PRAYING TO:)

Update on dress scam contest! 08-09

So yes it was a scam and the lady is persistent in keeping doing it. I did my part and turned it over to the proper authorities and they will be dealing with it now!!! Thank gosh big burden off of my shoulders. I will post the links that show you what went on and how she repeatedly tried to change her story adn would get caught in lies. The last link with the workd enough in it was just iceing on the liar liar pants on fire cake!!! She says in there that she sent me an emaiill, which she didn’t of course telling me why they didn’t go through with the contest, yet on the thread for the new contest they tried to start their was a suposed annonymous “winner” that came forward. Which was actually her under yet another username. Then she says I posted her personal info, but I didn’t that was another user that I had never even spoke to till she posted the info and the info she got from this ladys posts and companies that she found by googleing her, so anyone could get that info. She is just trying to make me look bad, but only keeps making herself lood bad!!! I am just glad that someone else is monitoring it all now and the proper people:) A lot off my shoulders:)Just is a bummer that there are people in this workld that have to treat others crappy and lie to make their money. Especially when honest people are working so hard and can’t get no where. Thanks to everyone for the support and help. Thanks to the bees for all the help and really there were a lot doing there own investigations that I didn’t even know about so I guess I wasn’t alone:)Links are below for information on this:
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/free-dress-for-deserving-bride-contest-contestants
http://classifieds.weddingbee.com/topic/win-a-free-wedding-dress
http://classifieds.weddingbee.com/topic/wedding-contest
http://classifieds.weddingbee.com/topic/enough

Didn't win the dream dress :(

Can’t remember if I had wrote how I had entered a dress contest on the weddingbee.com site. It was put on by an online store and was for needy brides. You posted a short version of your story and then they gave away two dresses to the top two brides they thought deserved it most. This was my last hope as of now on getting an actual wedding dress. I waited and they were suppose to anounce the winner July 25th. About 8 pm they finally posted that they ahd emailed the two winners and they were so happy to recieve this news.I was crushed to say the least. I mean I know it was a contest but it only had 40 girls and I just was hopeing and praying it would be me. But here is my thing why won’t they say who won. They have not realeased any names. They are putting dresses on their website for discount for all the girls who did not win. I am really questioning if there even was a winner and if this wasn’t just a way to get girls to purchase dresses from them. I am not the only girl who feels like this either. I have contacted the main person at weddingbee about the situation but have not heard back on if they are looking into it or anything. I hope that I am not right because that would just be sooooooooooooo wrong for someone to do that to a bunch of especially needy brides. The stories werree real and heartbreaking. I hope they find something out soon.Not much else is up now. No changes. Just trying to come up with ideas on how to make our day special just the two of us:) I am just happy to be marrying the most amazing man in the world:)

"If your going through hell just keep on going...."

Love that song by Rodney Adkins, but how far do you have to go and how hot will it get!!!

So it has been trying again to say the least. I am REALLY REALLY trying to keep a good attitude and just Trust the lord, but it is hard not to get down sometimes.I still have not found a job and since we live 40 miles from the closest town and it isn’t very big it is a challenge to say the least. But now we not only have no money, more bills going to collections and now htey will be coming to reposess my car. Oh soooo fun. I love Dave Ramsey and will follow his example from now on. No cash=NO BUY!!!!The wedding is 63 days away and we have no money. So unless a miracle happens and that is what we are praying for there will be no fancy clothes for the MR and no Dress for me:( So prity much we will be down to the courthouse type wedding just in a prettier location atleast:)Just so hard not to be sad and disapointed. My fiance is not really even excited about the day because he knows it isn’t how we both had pictured it. But I remind myself that atleast we get to be husband and wife:) That will be awesome.

Huge news and a BIG THANK YOU LORD!!!!

I got an email the other day from a photographer that we really liked and had gotten price quotes and such from. But when we realized we weren’t going to be able to afford the whole wedding we wrote them and just thanked them for all the time and such and told them we just weren’t going to be able to afford it but thank you again for their time and kindness.They wrote us back and have offered to shoot our wedding and wedding pictures for us for free:) I was so shocked I just started crying. It was an answer to a huge prayer and I am sooooooooooooo very very excited:)So now my last biggest problem is a dress. I still have not found one. The one I want could be custom made by a designer for me for $300 but we just can’t do that when we need to get me to the doctor so I really don’t know what I am going to do. But I am sure something will work out:)The dress I wanted him to make was going to be a strapless pick up ball gown style but I wanted it makde out of cotton eyelet fabric for a more country look and I was going to have our wedding colors added into it somehow(chocolate&Copper) like a sash or border on the bodice. Something like that:) I think it would be simple yet elegant. SO me:) Especially with my cowboy boots on under it:) hee hee!!!!Well pray pray pray is what I will do:) Thank you to all who are praying for us:) It means A LOT!!!!

Don't feel like a bride-written 07-13-09

Ok so I know another sad blog, but really this is the only place I have to just have my feelings:) I just don’t feel like a bride. No wedding, no one even cares, and I don’t even have a dress to wear to our ceremony.
I want more than anything to have my dream dress and look like a princess when I walk down that aisle to my fiance. I want to feel like a bride:) I am looking everywhere and trusting GOD has a plan:) I want to look and feel beautifull for my future husband, he deserves it to:)
I am trying really hard to look on the bright side and to do the things to make it special to us on that day, but even he is still really really bummed out about it all. But we are just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy we will finally get to say I do:)
I would just love to feel like a bride even if no one else is there:)

Just don't know when to give up-written 7-13-09

It is so hard to just give up on something that is sooooooooooooooo important, but we aren’t very far away and money doesn’t grow on trees:)
My health is really not doing well. I am exhausted at all times, lots of pain and many other not so fun things going on with it, so now I just need to concentrate on getting better and not a wedding.
I am just going to try and figure out ways to make it memorable for the two of us:)
Can’t wait to marry my handsome:)

Our wedding plans as of now-written 07-09

Our wedding plans as of now
Well with all the medical bills and my health not doing so good we have had to cancel our final attempt at a getting married. We will still be saying I do September 26th but it will just be the two of us.Ok so I know it isn’t about the wedding and it is about the two of us, but I think weddings are really important. That is the time you make a commitment and show your love in front of everyone you know. A time to make memories with all your friends and family. The time to just celebrate being husband and wife together in a big way:)We have never really wanted anything big and fancy. We just wanted simple and a good time for everyone that attended. I have always wanted a country-western type wedding. Like in a barn or something. Haybales for seating, country band to swing to, and a good ole fashioned big bbq:) So as you can see I am not wanting that 10,000+ wedding, but these days it all adds up to a lot!!!We have the coolest place we are getting married this fall. It is a little B&B in the midwest and it is all set up like a little old fashioned western town. It will be the coolest place. I can’t wait to say I do to my best friend:)It is just hard to give up the dream of having the wedding of “my” dreams and not share it with our friends and family. But since my family is 1600 miles away and it cost so much for food and such we will be doing it just us.I have seen so many ideas that people have used to make their weddings happen and I have seen how many people call them tacky and uncooth, but in this day and age with the average wedding costing $10,000+ I can see why people get more creative IE:sponsors,donate buttons on websites, ask poker tournaments, etc. I think it is a great idea if people are willing to give…why not!!! But others say a lot of mean hurtfull things about it. But if someone is willing to give knowing where the money is going and they are making someones dreams come true…WHY NOT???:)I have a few ideas and they are probably dumb and crazy but it is the only way that I am looking at a real wedding.Maybe I am looking at it all wrong, but when you dream of that day from the time you are a little girl…of the prince, the dress, the photos, the memories it is really hard to not want to fight for it. Especially when you see all your friends and familly at there weddings and all the fun and memories from it. The photos they look back at for the rest of their lives, I can’t help but want that.If anyone has any suggestions please let me know:)

Our Story the Short, Short version:) written 07-09

We are just a simple country couple from the midwest. We live and work on a cattle ranch and love the LORD:)
We met almost 3 years ago online by accident:) It was the best accident ever. We were on a western chat site and just started talking not knowing we were ment for each other:) Didn’t take long to realized it though!!!:) I was on the west coast and he was in the midwest. After a visit to each place we couldn’t stand being apart so I moved from west coast to be with him in the midwest.To say the least then to now has been a lot of love but a lot of struggles to. We both come from very selfish families who find money, alcohol and other things more important than their own children so to say the least we have no family support, so it is just the two of us….Oh and the LORD, which is a big deal:) I have also struggled for a long time with health issues (burns, tularemia, and the newest thyroid surgery and cancer) with no health insurance it has parity much ruined us financially and taken any chance of a nice wedding from us.We have attempted to get married 3 times now and every time we just weren’t able to come up with the money to make it happen. We don’t expect a huge wedding, just something nice and fun with the people we love there. My dream wedding has always been a country or barn wedding with hay bales and horses and such:) But we just aren’t able to do it alone. So as of now our 4th try is September 26th 2009 at a little western town b&b. As of now it will just be the two of us and nothing fancy. Not even that dress you dream of as a little girl:( I know it is not about the wedding it is about the two of us, but we would love to look back at the day and have the wedding day memories and have them include the dress, tux and all our friends.My fiancé feels like he has failed us since he can’t provide a nice wedding for us and I don’t want him to feel like that, because it is soooooooooooo not true! He is the most amazing man and he takes such good care of me when I am sick. Which sadly is a lot. Since we can’t afford the doctors I just wait now. It is sooooo hard, but my Handsome makes it bearable and helps me to keep fighting:)Like I said we are just regular ole country people, nothing-special just us:)

New to the blog spot

I am new to blogspot, I have been useing a different blogging site but found it hard to use so I am going to move all my blogs to here and start with this one:) Easier to use:)