Other than my recap sometime this is my last post

I will still do my recap and pics someday when I have a computer that will let me!!! GRRRRRR!!! But this is my last post on this blog. I have started another blog for myself that will be about being a newlywed and just my life. I love keeping up with everyones blogs so I will keep reading the updates. My new blog is
http://alifeondreamsandprayers.blogspot.com/

May everyones new year be extremely blessed:)

A Newlywed Christmas!!

Well it is our first christmas together as newlyweds. We really don't have anything exciting planned. We are going to make dinner and that is about it. With the wedding, moving, and medical stuff we just can't do anything else. It is hard to be away from all my friends and family this time of the year:( But we have both decided that it is just a great reminder of what the season is really about, it isn't about presents and fancy things. It is about the LORD and remembering how blessed we are for all he has done for us.
It is sad how many people can't wait for it to be over or just can't get into "the spirit". With everything falling apart at the seems in our life it seems like we still are excited about the day and what it is about and just feel blessed to be sharing it together as husband and wife. There is always something that could be worse.
I pray that all those who feel down or lonely this season will have someone change that for them. Someone give them a little gift, someone invite them to celbrate the holiday with them, just something to know that someone cares! I pray for a happy blessed season for all:)

Still have to do photo updates

Well we finally got our pictures back and I am very excited to share them with everyone. Our computer however is way to old and will not let me upload photos with it so it will have to wait a while longer till I can get to a computer that can upload them. I hope everyone is having a very merry christmas season and may it be a very blessed one:)

Sneak peek at a few wedding pictures:)

Ok so we are still waiting for the disk and the rest of the pictures, which will be here any day, but here are a few sneak peek pictures:)

Yes I did wear my working cowgirl boots:)

If you see, I am not wearing my actual wedding ring.:( Unfortunetly from all the weight gain and water weight from medication and such it would not fit and we couldn't afford to have it sized now. So I was sad and wondering what I was going to wear. Then it came to me.......The first time I flew here to Nebraska and met Eric in person we just knew we were in love and that we were to be together. We went out with his whole family the night before I left and everyone was teasing asking when were going to get married and Eric says I can't even afford the ring yet, and someone jokingly said Just give her a twisty tie and get it done:) I said I loved him so much I would marry him with just a twisty tie(which I did in fact:) But when he proposed to me his mom had taken a green and red twisty tie and made it look like a rose ring and that is what he asked me to marry him with and so I figured how perfect:) I do have a wedding ring but cannot wear it yet, but someday.

I loved the place we got married it was so country and rustic.

It really fit us well:)

The views were amazing!

And for my Favorite picture so far.........

"Roped into Love"

I can't wait till we get the rest of them to share with y'all!!!

I know, I know I disapeared!!

Ok so I know I haven't posted in a long time and I have left everyone hanging. But I have not gotten my pictures back yet. They are done though and should be here any day:) YEAH!!!! Then I can do my recaps.
We have been married little over a month now and loving being husband and wife!! Now we are just trying to figure out where we wanna go with our life together:) It has been a great month, but trying also as my health is not very good. Been sick a lot and more stuff like numbness, spasms and such that is causing a lot of uncomfortableness and just making my days not so good. I try to keep a good attitude and do the best I can with it, but it kind of steels our newlywed joy. But I will try to keep a good attitude and we pray a lot for help and answers.
I can't wait to share our wedding pictures with everyone. I hope all is well in everyones lives. I will post as soon as I get pictures:)

Not disapeering on y'all:) Wedding shower details

So yesterday our fellow ranchers and church friends threw a after wedding, wedding shower for us:) It was so fun and so amazing to have that many people there. We even had some ranchers that we had never met show up to meet us and celebrate with us, it was just soooo awesome:)
They had a big cake made with your lucky in love horseshoes on it, they brought gifts, we played games, it was just a good time for all. Here on the ranches everyone works so much and soooo hard so there are only a handfull of times of the year that we get big gatherings like this so it was very special to us. We still only had about half the ranchers, so this is definetly a neat lifestyle, but it does have it sacrifices and that is missing out on a lot sometimes to get work done. But yet everyday out here in the sandhills is an amazing day of GOD:)
I can't wait to get pictures that I can post on here so I can do a recap of our wedding day:) I hope to get that done very soon, but it may take a while since I have to borrow a computer that actually uploads photos...GRRRR!! Hate our computer! But atleast it runs:)

I'm Married:)

I am officially a Mrs:) Our day was awesome and I can't wait to get pictures back and share with y'all:) Not everything went perfect or as planned, but you know what I didn't care and I just let it all go and enjoyed an amazing and awesome day:) I am so glad that through all of this I really got to see what true love means and that all the stuff doesn't really matter when it comes down to it:) We were so blessed by so many people that I can't even begin to say enough thank yous:) We are especially gratefull for all the thoughts, prayers and support. Thank you to everyone for everything:)
I will be blogging all about our big day when I can get to a computer that will let me upload photos:) Can't wait to do that:)

My last post before our day:)

I should be sleeping, but I thought I would write my last post before we head to our wedding venue tomorrow:) I can't believe it is here. But it is and I am so happy. Everyone asks if I am nervous and I say no I have been ready for a long time and it is soooo true:) I can't wait to marry this man and to be his wife:)
I really want to write a great entry but to be honest I am sooooo tired and I have not been feeling well lately and it has been really bad this week, so Iwill have to write when we return:)
Thank you all for the prayers and well wishes:) Can't wait to tell you all about it when we get back.

Now this is true love...Really puts things in perspective!!!

I only wish I had seen this story when I first started planning my wedding, it would have helped me to put things into perspective a lot sooner and to not worry so much about the little stuff. It is scary how close I came to this being me and I still forget how lucky I am sometimes. Please read this and really think about what is important in life:)

Katie has terminal cancer and spend hours a day receiving medication. Katie had chased away cancer once, only to have it return - to clog her lungs and grab hold of her heart. Breathing was difficult now, she had to use oxygen. The pain in her back was so intense it broke through the morphine that was supposed to act as a shield. Her organs were shutting down but it would not stop her from marrying Nick, 23, who was in love with Katie since 11th grade.

In this picture, they were waiting for the nurse to come and start Katie's treatment at McLaren Regional Medical Center in Flint on the morning of January 12, 2005.

Nick who works night shift as a Lapeer County Sheriff's deputy took Katie to the medical center after a night's work, three days before their wedding. In the picture, Nick Godwin, left, is waiting for her and takes a moment of rest while his bride Katie, right, gets an intravenous procedure to reduce the amount of fluids her body is retaining.

Katie holds some of her daily medication for several minutes before taking them as she waves in and out of sleep because of the morphine she takes while sitting in the living room of the family home in Metamora.

She was in a lot of pain in the days leading to her wedding taking morphine and numerous medications to help her. Niki ,right, took a leave of absence from work so she can take care of her daughter, Katie who now needs constant assistance.

Katie walks past a photograph of herself when she was homecoming queen at Lapeer East High School where she also was a co-valedictorian. the photograph sits on a table in her family's home living room in Metamora.

In spite of all the pain, organ failures, and morphine shots, Katie is going along with her wedding and took care of every detail. The dress had to be adjusted a few times due to her constant weight loss.

Katie puts on some earrings a few minutes before walking down the aisle to marry the man who she had known since 11th grade, at Church of Christ in Hazel Park on Saturday January 15, 2005.
An unusual accessory at the party was the oxygen tube that Katie used throughout the ceremony and reception as well.The other couple in the picture are Nick's parents. Excited to see her son marrying his high school sweetheart.

Here the couple says their vows....In sickness, in health...Till death do us part. Knowing that these were their realities.
Katie in her wheelchair with the oxygen tube, gets serenaded by her new husband and his best men during the wedding party on the dance floor.At the reception, Katie had to take a few rests. She was exhausted. Her face looked as white as her gown. The pain do not let her to be standing up for long periods.
Katie died five days later after her wedding day.She did not let sickness stop her from living, take away the hope or faith that made her believe she had a future. She had a lovely wedding and she had love and she gave love and love doesn't die. And that is how Katie beat cancer.

**************************************************

What a strong and determined young woman, Katie was. I am truly amazed at her strength, to get up and get dressed and to be able to get married when she was so sick and weak!! That is soo amazing! And what an amazing and awesome man, Nick is!! He loved her so much that he never left her side! To stay with her through her treatments, and most importantly, to marry her instead of breaking up and running away! Watching a women so ill and weak getting married and with a smile on her face makes us think..Happiness is reachable, no matter how long it last. We should appreciate what we have in our lives and the time we have it:)

Life is short.

Break the rules.

Forgive quickly.

Love truly.

Laugh constantly.

And never stop smiling.

Taking time to enjoy this journey

So this will all be over in a few days. Seems like it took forever for it to get here, but now that it is here I can hardly believe it:) I just wanted to take a little time today and just reminisce and enjoy this. I know things haven't gone as planned, but you know what it doesn't matter. In the end all that I wanted was to be married to this awesome man:) All the little mishaps and stuff are really no big deal in the whole picture:)
I am just sooooo excited to finally be saying I do to this man. We have come a long ways and been down a bumpy road and we are stronger and happier for it really. You always have people ask what would you change? But really I wouldn't change a thing, because if I changed one thing it would change everything. I am just glad we are where we are and the love we have for each other is stronger and more powerful than I thought it could be.:)
It is sooo easy to get caught up in all the hype and to let others actions take away your joy, but I have had enough of that. The only person you can change is you and that is what I am doing, I am just choosing to change how I react when others hurt me or disappoint me. I know easier said than done and it is something you will constantly have to work at, but that is what life is, it is growing and maturing and learning till the day you die. You will never know it all and there is always something you can learn from everything and everyone if you just look for it:)
I can't wait to see how our day turns out and to have the pictures to share with everyone:) I am just so excited to see what the LORD does for our day. He has already blessed us immensely:) It will definitely be an amazing day no matter what:) That day I will marry my best friend:)

I'm getting married this weekend:)

We are down to the last week. Well less than an actual week now. SOOO much to do and things aren't exactly perfect, but you know what we decided? We decided us being married is perfect and so that is what we are going to concentrate on:)
I have so much to get done this week and we leave friday morning for the place so I got 4 days to get things done and here I sit on my computer:) Well gotta keep everyone up to date:)
So much isn't going right at this point, but like I said we are just going to do with what we have and be happy:) It isn't the stuff that makes the day, it is us:) We had planted corn and pumpkins for most of our decorations and since the weather has been so cool it isn't going to be even close to ready, my wedding dress is definelty not the most flattering style on me(but atleast I have one right:)), my wedding ring set won't even fit since I have gained water weight and such with meds, and we have barely enough money to even get to the place, so pray for us we get everything paid and get home:), we were suppose to go on a little road trip for our honeymoon but we have had to cancel that idea since we don't have the money, and I could go on, but you know what......Does all that really matter? Well of course it does in a way and it is nice to have but it doesn't make a marriage:) Maybe someday we will get to make up for some of the things we would have liked to have done or had, but if not I am still going to remember that day as an awesome, amazing, dream of a day. The day I said I do, forever, to my handsome:) The day I became his wife:) That is what I will remember:)
I will try and write again before the big day, but if I don't I will definetly share when I get back.:) I am sure there will be plenty to share:) Thank you to all who have helped and have been praying, you have made a huge difference and I love hearing from y'all:)

Final Dress fitting and a package from a fellow bee:)

Ok so yesterday was a day of joy and frustration for me. First my joy, I got my package in the mail from one of my sweet fellow bees:) Beachwedding92509 Sent me a really cute decorated package with little bee pictures all over it and inside two veils to choose from and a couple other little gifts:) She is so very sweet!! I can't even begin to say how much the kindness means to me. It is awesome to know that there are people out there that still care. I will make sure I do the same when I am done and help another brides dreams come true:) Thank you again fellow bee:)
Well here comes the frustration, I REALLY DON'T LIKE MY DRESS!!!! I know beggars can't be choosers and I really am kicking myself for saying it or thinking it, I am lucky to even have a dress. But we put it on yesterday and it just doesn't look good on me:( Thanks to all my thyroid problems and medication stuff I have gained 70 lbs in the past two years! Yes I said 70:( It is so hard to look in the mirror at this person that I don't even recognize and hate to even see. It doesn't matter what I do I can't loose weight. I can diet, I can exercise and it don't do any good, actually the dieting stuff usually makes me gain more and since I am sick most of the time the exercising makes me sicker, even though I am still stubborn and do it anyways a lot of the time. It is just so frustrating feeling crappy everyday and then looking in the mirror and feeling worse.:(
The dress is actually to small so thank GOD for corsets, but you can tell it is to small and the cut is not flattering at all on me. Plus that lovely extra spills over the top and really ads to the not so sexy look! I am just so scared I am going to get my wedding pictures back and hate them for what I see in them. This is not me and I don't want this to be me!
Again I am just lucky to even have a dress, and I should care more about who is in the pictures with me, rather than what I look like, but I just want to be so beautiful for him and he always tells me I am and he really says I need to give myself a break after all I have been through. He says that he is amazed how much I have been through and how I have done with it all. My biggest down fall is the beating myself up over my weight and looks. But it is so hard. You just keeping gaining, your hair falls out, your skin is like a lizard, your nails break every two seconds, every thing that makes you feel like a beautiful woman is gone. I am sorry for being so negative, it is just harder some days than others!
Thank you again to everyone that has been praying and supportive, it has made this all soooooo much easier and enjoyable:) You have no idea what it has all meant to me!!! Thank you everyone!

10 days left!!!!!!!!

Oh my only 10 days left:) YEAH!!!! Can't believe it is almost here. I can't wait. I have soooo much still to do and here I sit blogging instead of doing:) But gotta keep my readers interested:) hee hee!!! Can't wait till we have a computer that will alow me to include pictures. Someday, keep praying for us:)
So I still have a lot to do with decorations and decorating my cupcake wrappers, making my mason jar lanterns, and next week will be crazy busy with make-up trials, making cake and cupcakes, and making my favors. It is quite the challenge when doing it all alone. Also since our weather has not cooperated here our corn and pumpkins and such won't be done and that was all our main decorations, so I have no idea what we will do now, but we will come up with something:) Plus we add in my fiance getting baptized on sunday and that makes for a full day. I am soooo very excited about that though. Huge answer to prayers:)
There are little doubts and sadness that still want to creep in though and I am trying hard to push them back out. We are barely even going to have enough money for the gas to get there, so there are a lot of things we needed for decor and such that we aren't going to get, and we aren't going to be able to have our little honeymoon road trip either:( But the sadest is that my fiance really wanted a jacket to wear and new nice boots, but we can't afford them. He feels like he isn't going to look nice enough up there with me in nice jeans and a nice dress shirt. I feel so bad that he is feeling like that and that we can't afford those things for him:( But we have had to just pray and say we aren't letting things we don't have ruin our day:) We are just going to enjoy what we do have and those who will be with us:)
I can't wait to get pictures back to share with everyone:) It is going to be fun I am sure!! Thank you to all who read and comment and to all who are praying for us:) We appreciate everything that eveyrone has done to help make our day special:)

Two weeks left to get it all done!!!!!

Can't believe in two weeks we will be on our way to high plains homestead and where we will be getting married:) I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO beyond excited:) I still have quite a bit to do, but I will just do the best I can and hope it all turns out ok:)
I am just so excited to finally be marrying my handsome:) He is the greatest guy in the whole world and I am so lucky to have him. We have had a lot of excitement lately. I am a very dedicated christian by that I mean to the LORD and not the religion:) My fiance to loved the LORD, but didn't really know about him and had never officially given his life to him, but over the past couple months he has really been getting passionate about prayer and wanting to live right, and about a month ago now he gave his life to the LORD at a cowboy church. It has been amazing the changes in him, and the love he has for me is even more than I thought:) He even moved into the little bunk house so our wedding night will even be more special. We weren't "sleeping" together anyway, but it will just be all that more blessed. And just yesterday he talked with the Pastor and he will be baptized the sunday before our wedding. All I can say is YEAH!!!!!!!! I am so happy that I will be marrying a GODLY man:) I really believe that is why it didn't all workout till now. GODs timeing is amazing:) Thank you LORD:)
I need to get working on things, but I find myself here writting:) I still have to finish making decorations, sewing the ribbons for my dress, and figure out all the decoration details. We had planted corn and pumpkins, but with it being such a cool summer they will not be ready, so now I am not sure what to do, we can't afford to go out and buy more decorations. I will just have to look around and see what we have:) I am sure something perfect and awesome will come up. So far the LORD has answered more prayers than I can imagine:) Well better get to work:) Can't wait to get pictures and borrow a computer to download them and then everyone can see the story:)

Getting down to the wire! YIKES!!!

So we have less than 3 weeks to go. Can't believe it is almost here. We still have quite a bit to do. Today I am working on making my garter and a few other decor projects. Still have to do the bouquet, veil, misc decoration stuff, and lots of other little things. Plus gotta help my fiance make the cupcake stand. We are doing it out of iron and horseshoes. Can't wait to see it when it is done:) There is such an accomplished feeling when you do things on your own, but it makes it a little stressfull also:) But we will know that love and time went into making our day special:)
I hope everyone elses wedding plans are going well. And Congrats to all you brides who said there I Do's in the last couple weeks. I love reading all the blogs:) Well better get back to work, sooo much to do:)

The dress mess update!!!

Ok so after talking to tons of people and googleing my brains out I decided on soaking just the outer part(organza) in cold water and woolite concentrate. I soaked it for about 5 hours or so and then rinsed it and it looks almost brand new. I then took just a wash rag and lightly blotted the stains higher up with the solution and they came clean:) YEAH!!!!!!!!! It isn't perfect, but way better and I have an outdoor wedding anyways so it will be dirty again:) I was so pleased with as much as did come out. Barely any spots left and they are prity faint. I really wish I could upload some photos for y'all to see. I know it would make my blog more interesting:)

We are getting so close and so much to do still. But just doing one thing at a time as we can with money and such. There are probably a lot more things we needed to do, but we can only do what we can do and that is it. Just wish we would have had a little more time or money:) hee hee!! Don't we all:)

We are having quite a few more people than we thought would be able to come though and that is thanks to all the nice new friends at our little church here. We have been really blessed by all them and are very excited to be a part of it all:)

Really down to the wire and SOOO MUCH not done or decided

Ok so we are less than 4 weeks left. Only 3 full weekends left to get things done. So much to do!!! But I am just excited about it all. Whatever happens happens and I trust that the LORD has an amazing day planned for us:)

So I had my first hair and make-up consult today with Gina:) I love her and it is such a blessing she is doing this for me. We didn't do any trials, just got ideas and such so we can do some trials. I am really excited about this:) Our biggest subject however was "The DRESS" how to get the stains out. I have talked to people that are seamstresses and such and they say DON'T WASH IT!!! So now we are trying to figure out how to spot treat it without ruining the fabric. Yikes we have a few things to try so please pray it goes well. If not we have a back up plan of maybe adding pick-ups but this would be a lot of work and not sure if dress would be long enough if we did that so we would rather not if possible. I will keep you informed!!
We had a crazy night last night somewhat wedding related. We went the 3 hours over to meet the pastor who is marrying us for a premarital counseling session. He was great and we are excited he will be marrying us. But on our way home we were getting back late and we came around the corner to see a truck in the ditch that had rolled for a long ways. Mind you we do live in the middle of nowhere so we could tell no one had come along. I called 911 and my fiance got out to check in the truck and such and no one, but the truck reaked of alchol from 10 feet away. So we immediatley started searching the ditches and such as best we could in the dark for someone in case they had been thrown from the vehicle. We just couldn't see with no light, so we decided to head back to the ranch which is like 8 miles get flashlights and rush back but on our way we found the guy 1 1/2 miles down the road. He was very disorriented and very drunk of course. We called 911 again to report him and got a friend called for him and had to wait about an hour for police and ambulance to get there(told you far out) He is lucky to be alive but I really hope he remembers how stupid drinking and driving is and that he could have killed someone!!!! NO TOLLERANCE for drinking and driving in my book!!!! But we were just glad that we found him and that we were able to get him the help he needed. Who knows what would have happened if not.
Now back to our regularly scheduled wedding:)

Prayers are being answered and dreams are coming true!!

So through this all it has been a very growing experience with me in the LORD. We were both so sad and frustrated we weren't going to be able to have the wedding "we" wanted. But I think letting go and letting GOD is creating even more than we can imagine:) We have been soooo beyond blessed and continue to be blessed daily with answers to our prayers.

We really just started praying..LORD we don't have anyway to make this day happen and we don't have the money to make it special like we would want, so we just pray you would bless our day and make it special. Oh and boy has he:)

There were a few things as a bride that just really were important to me even though it was going to be small.
* A special place to remember to have the wedding
*Great people to share the day with us
*A beautifull dress
*Eric a perfect outfit
*Photographer to do awesome pictures we can remember forever
*To look beautiful with nice hair and make-up
*Cake-for our special cake topper we got a long time ago:)
*And of course all the little misc.(toasting glasses, bouquets, etc.)

I know it isn't required to have all that to be married and that is not what makes a marriage, but it does make a nice wedding. We are going to do what we can with what we got. We even grew our own pumpkins and indian corn and such for the occasion:)

So as I looked at the list of what I wanted it was so easy to become discouraged knowing we had NO money and that we couldn't make it happen. So the praying began and through the LORD and a lot of amazing people and others praying and supporting(thank you bee girls:)) This has been answered so far:)
*We have the most awesome place and all we have to pay for is food and the night there
*We have a band that is donating time
*An awesome professional photographer that is donating his time:)
*A friend that is a professional doing my hair and make-up:)
*I am doing a cupcake cake for our cake and excited to be doing it:)

So as you can see one after another the prayers are being answered. These are our continued prayers that would make it perfect:
*Eric an outfit he loves(wranglers, nice shirt, jacket, chocolate cowboy hat, boots)
*Me a dress that I feel great in(either the stains to come out of the one I have or even better would be a pickup style ballgown:))
*Enough money to invite a few more of our community friends here and our pastors from our church who through this have really become great great friends:)
*and just a few of the little things:toasting glasses,bouquet,a few more little decorations(I am cheap and love 50% off sales so wouldn't take much:))

So as you can see the LORD is faithfull and we are really excited to see what the day brings:) It is already turning out way better than I could have ever imagined:) Thank you to everyone that has prayed for us and supported us and just been there to help encourage me when I was down. My health has been the biggest test lately and I am just praying on and trusting the LORD will help there to:)

"You find out who your friends are"

I think planning a wedding really makes you find out who your friends truly are. I had come to feel prity lonely. Not one of my friends or family from Oregon is coming and most of our friends from a couple of hours away aren't either. Most don't even ask about it. This was very hard for me for a long time and still is hurtfull, but I have come to find a lot of friends in surpriseing places. I have met some amazing woman on Weddingbee.com. It is nice to know you are not alone and to have someone there to be excited for you:) I have met some prity extrodinary woman on that site and become good friends with a few. Y'all know who you are;) Thanks for all your love and support.
It is just so strange to find that complete strangers(atleast when we first started talking) care more about your life and wedding that your own friends and family. It has touched my hear immensly all the love and support that have been shown. I soooooooooooo appreciate it and it has made it a happier time for me for sure:)
I only wish I could have y'all at the wedding and such. y'all would make awesome bridesmaids:) THANK YOU for helping me when things have been tough!!!

30 Days To GO!!!!!!!!!! YIKES SO MUCH TO DO!!!

Can't believe it is 30 days till my wedding day:) SO excited yet so nervous to about getting everything done. I know whatever happens happens, but still you want the day to be fun and turn out nice:)

I have the following list of things that are taken care of:
The place we are getting married at
The room for the night
The rings(even though mine won't fit right now)
The food
The minister
The Photographer-Thanks for their donation and kindness:)
THE GROOM:) Hee Hee!!!

Things that still need done:
Clean the stained dress I have
Find something for the groom to wear
Bouquet
Cake
Decorations-going simple and cheap
Ceremony words and such
unity candles
Veil
hair decorations
makeup
don't have any idea how I am going to do my hair
serving set
toasting glasses
sure there is more I am forgetting

so much to do!!! I will just do the best I can as things come. Have to prioritize and do with what we got:) Don't know how it is all going to get done and afford it all, but we TRUST THE LORD and know that it will all be fine in the end.:)

Just gonna keep on truckin.......

Just sitting around sad and upset isn't going to make this wedding happen any faster. I am going to try and clean the dress myself and see what happens. I hope it doesn't ruin it or the beading on it. We will see, if it does then I will just wear jeans and a nice shirt. I don't have any other choices and I just need to be happy with what I got and that is the MOST AMAZING FIANCE EVER!!!!! 30 Days to go. Can't believe it is coming so fast:) Can't wait to say I do:)

I will keep y'all posted on how the cleaning works out and hopefully it doesn't shrink the dress any:) Thanks to all the bees over there at Weddingbee for the suggestions on getting it clean myself.

Very hurt and upset by something someone assumes of me

I earlier posted about how I loved weddingbee.com and how great all the bee's are and I do love all the bees and it is a great place for ideas, forums, and such. But then I get this email from Mr.Bee the leader and I was very hurt and offended. Because this is not me and it REALLY hurts me that he would assume this about me.

Weddingbee Boards » Private Messages » Hello from Mr. Bee
mrbee
Key Master -->
I wanted to reach out and share a concern.
Sometimes it feels like your posts are soliciting for donations. You never quite ask for money, but you describe your situation and I feel like the end result is an indirect solicitation.
It makes me very uncomfortable... I will talk to Bee about it, but I wanted to share my concern with you and hear your thoughts.
Best,
Mr. Bee
Sent: 08/26/09 at 01:54:01 AM To ACountryCowgirl
Reply
Your message will be sent to mrbee

I am very hurt and sad about this. I see a lot of people post about things that aren't going right, or how hard it is in this day and age to make it. I have never asked for money and would never and have had people offer money and would not accept it. But even so if someone wants to help someone else what is wrong with that. If I had more means I would help someone if I could. It was just nice to be able to post frustrations and have others give you input and ideas and usually just a sorry your going through this to help brighten my day. It was nice to hear from those who were going through the same things and we could help each other through these things.
I am a good person and it REALLY REALLY bothers me when people think bad of me, even people that don't know me. I told Mr. Bee I wouldn't post anymore personal things on the bee, but it makes me sad to know that I can't get input from a lot of people who were truly helpfull when I needed it.

Gotta thank the LORD for Bees.....(weddingbee.com)

I just am so thankfull for the weddingbee.com site, it has really been helpfull to me during all this. With no friends and family that are helping it has amazed me how many total strangers have become such good friends to me:) How they have helped to encourage me when I am down and to celebrate when things are good. It has been a GOD sent:)
Thank you to all you bees who have offered such kindness and support, you will never know how much it has ment to me. To have people who care and understand and want to be there for you. I only wish they could have come and been my beesmaids:) That would have been perfect:)

A few steps backwards.....

So today was a few steps backwards......Just so frustrating, but trying to not let it get me down. But it is hard when it is such big things for our special day.

I woke up this morning so excited. Today I was going to drive the 30 miles to the post office to pickup my wedding dress and my newly saudered wedding ring:) I couldn't wait.

I couldn't even wait to get home to open the boxes. I opened the dress first and could see the top it was gorgeous and I was so excited. Then the ring box, it is absolutely stunning. So you ask why backwards well....

I try the ring on and it won't fit, I can't get it but to my knuckle. But I have been having a lot of swelling lately with all my thyroid trouble and feeling so terrible so I hope that is all it is. Then came the getting the dress home and so excited. I pull it out and hang it up and unzip the bag and wahla.... yellow stains all over the dress. Looks like someone spilled stuff all over it:( The tears just started right then. I know I took a chance on it for $60.00 and I knew it would have stains on the underneath of the hem, but I didn't expect all over the dress and the small tear at the back and I still don't know if it is going to fit. Oh LORD please help me.

Now here is the bigger problem, I feel terrible because we spent $60 we really didn't have anyways and now it needs cleaned, which we cannot afford and not only that but the closest dry cleaner is 2 1/2 hours away. I just don't know how I am going to do it:( I just wish the perfect dress would come along, even just to borrow. I just want more than anything to look and feel beautifull on my wedding day standing in front of the man I love more than anything in the world!!!!!

Like I said I am trying to stay positive, but it is hard to not be sad and frustrated.

Another Prayer answered:) I GOT A DRESS!!!!!!

YES you heard correctly, I got a real wedding dress:) I am soooooo beyond ecstatic:) I will post pictures of what it will look like. It is nothing like I pictured but it is beautifull and I hope it looks good on:) I bought it off of craigslist from a very very wonderfull woman who gave me an amazing deal on it. It is a Mori Lee 2105 dress. It is normally sold between $700-$900 that I seen and I got it for $60 and she is shipping it to me:) THANK YOU LORD!!!!!!

Everything is starting to fall into place and I am just soooo very excited. Now if only I could drop some weight before the wedding:) We are working on that to. Got a doctor appointment September 4th to get Thyroid all fixed back up again. Hopefully the cancer did not spread.

There is still so much to do for the wedding, but we are just trying to do the best we can with what we got and it is tough when we have no money, but we are trusting the LORD to make it a very special day:)

Here is the pictures of what the dress will look like:)

Our unique wedding venue

So sunday we had to go to Walmart and for us that is a big deal since the closest one is 2 1/2 hours, yes I said 2 1/2 hours, we live in the middle of nowhere on a cattle ranch so going to town is a big deal:) While we were in town at walmar we decided to take a trip out to the place we are getting married as it was only about 1/2 hour farther.
We pulled up and I was in love. It is perfect:) It is soooooo rustic and cute and all the old fashioned buildings are going to be perfect for our wedding photos:) It is just the neatest place and only 8 miles from toadstool geolagical park. It is going to be perfect. I will put on a few pictures:)

(Toadstool geological park above)
Seeing it really lifted my spirits and made me feel really excited about our wedding:)

The above picture is the cookshack and the covered area to the left with all the tables is where the ceremony will be held. We will move all the tables into the grass and just set up the benches where the wedding will take place.

The next few pictures are just some of the buildings we have to hangout in and take pictures:) Such ambiance:)

The school house is where we would get married if it rained. But we are praying for no rain and a beautifull day:)
This is the cowboy room and this is going to be our honeymoon suite for our wedding night:)

So as you can see I am VERY EXCITED about the place:) Things are starting to fall into place. Thank you to the LORD most of all, but also to all who have helped us out:)

If I did get to have my wedding and my way :)

I thought it would be fun just to post some fo the ideas I have for when we do get married in a real wedding. I want it to be country style. I would love a barn. I want it to be semi casual and fun for our guests. I want it to be in teh fall probably october and I will still have the same wedding colors; chocolate and copper:) These will be just random photos but I love ideas:)

Just love the atmosphere a barn gives. I am after all a country cowgirl, so I want to mix country and a little western:) Definetly dancing and since my fiance is a singer we will have the oh so fun Karaokee:)

Just love this country couch idea:) SOOOO Cute:)

Love this picture of the bride, so going to do that:)

I have so many thoughts and ideas and way to adapt these things to join together and use the colors I want. Can't wait till we can have the wedding of our dreams:) Will post more ideas for sure...Still to come: more decor, favors,cakes and of course dresses:)

Overwhelmed!

I just have so much on my mind this week: the death of my cousin, my health, money, bills and 43 days till wedding. SOOO Overwhelmed!!!

Nothing new on the wedding front. Still just us the place and that is about it. I know technically that is all you need and I am SOOOOO EXCITED to marry my fiance, he is the greatest guy in the world and I am extremely lucky to have him. It will be awesome to finally call him my husband.

But we both can't help but be sad that our wedding has really not turned out at all. :(

You know what I am going to quit gripeing right now. I am just lucky to have such a man to share my life with

Yeah my first follower:) Thanks MS. A

I really like this new blog site, so much easier to use and fun to have followers:)

Trustin the LORD to make it happen :) 8-12-09

So it is only 44 days until the wedding, but you really need to have everything done sooner so I really only have about 2 weeks to get everything done and going. I have nothing done. All we have is the place, photographer(who donated their services-thank you lord:)) and each other. I know that is all it takes for the wedding, but I would really like to have it be a little more. I would like us to atleast look amazing and “bridal” in our pictures. But with no money and in serious serious need of seeing a doctor, there won’t be any money either, so I really don’t know what we are going to do:( I am just praying and believing the LORD will work everything out:)I would love to have an actual beautifull wedding dress, and eric a nice wedding outfit. I want to make my own simple bouquet and then a cake. But all that ads up to be prity expensive even when you go cheap!!!I just want our day to be sooooooooooo special and with not knowing what all is going on with my health I don’t want to live on the we can do it later thought because I can’t count on there always being a later. So LORD PLEASE JUST BLESS OUR DAY:)

Treasure the time you got!!! 8-11-09

It is days like this that remind me I need to quit worrying about all the junk and the unimportant details. It isn’t the wedding day that matters it is the marriage. I still would love to have a nice wedding, but in the big picture you have to treasure every minute because you may not have another and it can happen in a matter of seconds.Today my 24 year old cousin lost her husband. He went missing on a kayaking trip yesterday and they found him today trapped under water in a log jam. She is alone now and without that other half, I can’t even beggin to imagine:( It just makes you realize to treasure every minute. To appreciate even the little things and not to complain about the stupid things. My heart and prayers are with her right now as she is so lost I am sure.LORD I don’t understand this, but I will trust in you that you will comfort everyone and especially my cousin and that you will turn this tragedy into a blessing somehow.It is like the garth brooks song” there are two dates that will be wrote on the stone, but the only things that matters are what happen in that little dash there inbetween.”

trying to stay positive 8-5-09

I know this blog is prity depressing, but I am REALLY trying to stay positive. But I am only 51 days out from my wedding and it doesn’t even feel like I am getting married:( Others are scrambling to get final dress fittings, rsvps returned, vendor things finalized, etc. Me I just live my wedding life through weddingbee. I have nothing to do since we are realyy doing nothing:( With my health getting worse and no money to even see a doctor we have NO MONEY to put towards anything. I know this shouldn’t matter and I know I am lucky to have my fiance and to finally be getting to say I do, but we have waited all this time to have the special day and again nothing and all because of me being sick. Atleast I know he is in ti for better or worse and in sickness and in health, I just wish I didn’t bring more of the sickness and worse.He feels terrible for not being able to give me that day. And to have those special things for us. I tell him it is ok and we can’t have everything in life we want and he said “that is one day you should have your way” Making me cry right now even saying it:( He is sooooo great and I am sooo lucky just hard not to be sad for missing all the memories with your friends. I see all the stuff on weddingbee for peoples parties and such and I want that, I know that sounds like a spoiled child, but it is something I always looked forward to. But don’t have.I don’t even have a wedding dress to wear and yes you can get something cheap, but we can’t even afford cheap and I don’t want just something to throw on I want it to be something I love. I even had a very sweet few people offer their dresses but they have all been to small and the one that may possibly fit I am not sure I am going to have enough for shipping so we will see.SEE DEPRESSING, but I try and just remind myself that I am just lucky to have my fiance and that maybe someday we can have a real wedding. I do LOTS AND LOTS OF PRAYING TO:)

Update on dress scam contest! 08-09

So yes it was a scam and the lady is persistent in keeping doing it. I did my part and turned it over to the proper authorities and they will be dealing with it now!!! Thank gosh big burden off of my shoulders. I will post the links that show you what went on and how she repeatedly tried to change her story adn would get caught in lies. The last link with the workd enough in it was just iceing on the liar liar pants on fire cake!!! She says in there that she sent me an emaiill, which she didn’t of course telling me why they didn’t go through with the contest, yet on the thread for the new contest they tried to start their was a suposed annonymous “winner” that came forward. Which was actually her under yet another username. Then she says I posted her personal info, but I didn’t that was another user that I had never even spoke to till she posted the info and the info she got from this ladys posts and companies that she found by googleing her, so anyone could get that info. She is just trying to make me look bad, but only keeps making herself lood bad!!! I am just glad that someone else is monitoring it all now and the proper people:) A lot off my shoulders:)Just is a bummer that there are people in this workld that have to treat others crappy and lie to make their money. Especially when honest people are working so hard and can’t get no where. Thanks to everyone for the support and help. Thanks to the bees for all the help and really there were a lot doing there own investigations that I didn’t even know about so I guess I wasn’t alone:)Links are below for information on this:
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/free-dress-for-deserving-bride-contest-contestants
http://classifieds.weddingbee.com/topic/win-a-free-wedding-dress
http://classifieds.weddingbee.com/topic/wedding-contest
http://classifieds.weddingbee.com/topic/enough

Didn't win the dream dress :(

Can’t remember if I had wrote how I had entered a dress contest on the weddingbee.com site. It was put on by an online store and was for needy brides. You posted a short version of your story and then they gave away two dresses to the top two brides they thought deserved it most. This was my last hope as of now on getting an actual wedding dress. I waited and they were suppose to anounce the winner July 25th. About 8 pm they finally posted that they ahd emailed the two winners and they were so happy to recieve this news.I was crushed to say the least. I mean I know it was a contest but it only had 40 girls and I just was hopeing and praying it would be me. But here is my thing why won’t they say who won. They have not realeased any names. They are putting dresses on their website for discount for all the girls who did not win. I am really questioning if there even was a winner and if this wasn’t just a way to get girls to purchase dresses from them. I am not the only girl who feels like this either. I have contacted the main person at weddingbee about the situation but have not heard back on if they are looking into it or anything. I hope that I am not right because that would just be sooooooooooooo wrong for someone to do that to a bunch of especially needy brides. The stories werree real and heartbreaking. I hope they find something out soon.Not much else is up now. No changes. Just trying to come up with ideas on how to make our day special just the two of us:) I am just happy to be marrying the most amazing man in the world:)

"If your going through hell just keep on going...."

Love that song by Rodney Adkins, but how far do you have to go and how hot will it get!!!

So it has been trying again to say the least. I am REALLY REALLY trying to keep a good attitude and just Trust the lord, but it is hard not to get down sometimes.I still have not found a job and since we live 40 miles from the closest town and it isn’t very big it is a challenge to say the least. But now we not only have no money, more bills going to collections and now htey will be coming to reposess my car. Oh soooo fun. I love Dave Ramsey and will follow his example from now on. No cash=NO BUY!!!!The wedding is 63 days away and we have no money. So unless a miracle happens and that is what we are praying for there will be no fancy clothes for the MR and no Dress for me:( So prity much we will be down to the courthouse type wedding just in a prettier location atleast:)Just so hard not to be sad and disapointed. My fiance is not really even excited about the day because he knows it isn’t how we both had pictured it. But I remind myself that atleast we get to be husband and wife:) That will be awesome.

Huge news and a BIG THANK YOU LORD!!!!

I got an email the other day from a photographer that we really liked and had gotten price quotes and such from. But when we realized we weren’t going to be able to afford the whole wedding we wrote them and just thanked them for all the time and such and told them we just weren’t going to be able to afford it but thank you again for their time and kindness.They wrote us back and have offered to shoot our wedding and wedding pictures for us for free:) I was so shocked I just started crying. It was an answer to a huge prayer and I am sooooooooooooo very very excited:)So now my last biggest problem is a dress. I still have not found one. The one I want could be custom made by a designer for me for $300 but we just can’t do that when we need to get me to the doctor so I really don’t know what I am going to do. But I am sure something will work out:)The dress I wanted him to make was going to be a strapless pick up ball gown style but I wanted it makde out of cotton eyelet fabric for a more country look and I was going to have our wedding colors added into it somehow(chocolate&Copper) like a sash or border on the bodice. Something like that:) I think it would be simple yet elegant. SO me:) Especially with my cowboy boots on under it:) hee hee!!!!Well pray pray pray is what I will do:) Thank you to all who are praying for us:) It means A LOT!!!!

Don't feel like a bride-written 07-13-09

Ok so I know another sad blog, but really this is the only place I have to just have my feelings:) I just don’t feel like a bride. No wedding, no one even cares, and I don’t even have a dress to wear to our ceremony.
I want more than anything to have my dream dress and look like a princess when I walk down that aisle to my fiance. I want to feel like a bride:) I am looking everywhere and trusting GOD has a plan:) I want to look and feel beautifull for my future husband, he deserves it to:)
I am trying really hard to look on the bright side and to do the things to make it special to us on that day, but even he is still really really bummed out about it all. But we are just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy we will finally get to say I do:)
I would just love to feel like a bride even if no one else is there:)

Just don't know when to give up-written 7-13-09

It is so hard to just give up on something that is sooooooooooooooo important, but we aren’t very far away and money doesn’t grow on trees:)
My health is really not doing well. I am exhausted at all times, lots of pain and many other not so fun things going on with it, so now I just need to concentrate on getting better and not a wedding.
I am just going to try and figure out ways to make it memorable for the two of us:)
Can’t wait to marry my handsome:)

Our wedding plans as of now-written 07-09

Our wedding plans as of now
Well with all the medical bills and my health not doing so good we have had to cancel our final attempt at a getting married. We will still be saying I do September 26th but it will just be the two of us.Ok so I know it isn’t about the wedding and it is about the two of us, but I think weddings are really important. That is the time you make a commitment and show your love in front of everyone you know. A time to make memories with all your friends and family. The time to just celebrate being husband and wife together in a big way:)We have never really wanted anything big and fancy. We just wanted simple and a good time for everyone that attended. I have always wanted a country-western type wedding. Like in a barn or something. Haybales for seating, country band to swing to, and a good ole fashioned big bbq:) So as you can see I am not wanting that 10,000+ wedding, but these days it all adds up to a lot!!!We have the coolest place we are getting married this fall. It is a little B&B in the midwest and it is all set up like a little old fashioned western town. It will be the coolest place. I can’t wait to say I do to my best friend:)It is just hard to give up the dream of having the wedding of “my” dreams and not share it with our friends and family. But since my family is 1600 miles away and it cost so much for food and such we will be doing it just us.I have seen so many ideas that people have used to make their weddings happen and I have seen how many people call them tacky and uncooth, but in this day and age with the average wedding costing $10,000+ I can see why people get more creative IE:sponsors,donate buttons on websites, ask poker tournaments, etc. I think it is a great idea if people are willing to give…why not!!! But others say a lot of mean hurtfull things about it. But if someone is willing to give knowing where the money is going and they are making someones dreams come true…WHY NOT???:)I have a few ideas and they are probably dumb and crazy but it is the only way that I am looking at a real wedding.Maybe I am looking at it all wrong, but when you dream of that day from the time you are a little girl…of the prince, the dress, the photos, the memories it is really hard to not want to fight for it. Especially when you see all your friends and familly at there weddings and all the fun and memories from it. The photos they look back at for the rest of their lives, I can’t help but want that.If anyone has any suggestions please let me know:)

Our Story the Short, Short version:) written 07-09

We are just a simple country couple from the midwest. We live and work on a cattle ranch and love the LORD:)
We met almost 3 years ago online by accident:) It was the best accident ever. We were on a western chat site and just started talking not knowing we were ment for each other:) Didn’t take long to realized it though!!!:) I was on the west coast and he was in the midwest. After a visit to each place we couldn’t stand being apart so I moved from west coast to be with him in the midwest.To say the least then to now has been a lot of love but a lot of struggles to. We both come from very selfish families who find money, alcohol and other things more important than their own children so to say the least we have no family support, so it is just the two of us….Oh and the LORD, which is a big deal:) I have also struggled for a long time with health issues (burns, tularemia, and the newest thyroid surgery and cancer) with no health insurance it has parity much ruined us financially and taken any chance of a nice wedding from us.We have attempted to get married 3 times now and every time we just weren’t able to come up with the money to make it happen. We don’t expect a huge wedding, just something nice and fun with the people we love there. My dream wedding has always been a country or barn wedding with hay bales and horses and such:) But we just aren’t able to do it alone. So as of now our 4th try is September 26th 2009 at a little western town b&b. As of now it will just be the two of us and nothing fancy. Not even that dress you dream of as a little girl:( I know it is not about the wedding it is about the two of us, but we would love to look back at the day and have the wedding day memories and have them include the dress, tux and all our friends.My fiancé feels like he has failed us since he can’t provide a nice wedding for us and I don’t want him to feel like that, because it is soooooooooooo not true! He is the most amazing man and he takes such good care of me when I am sick. Which sadly is a lot. Since we can’t afford the doctors I just wait now. It is sooooo hard, but my Handsome makes it bearable and helps me to keep fighting:)Like I said we are just regular ole country people, nothing-special just us:)

New to the blog spot

I am new to blogspot, I have been useing a different blogging site but found it hard to use so I am going to move all my blogs to here and start with this one:) Easier to use:)